Care and Tending

By Jarinatu Aramide Odeyemi

Old Granny Zulfah was a hardworking lady. She planted some bananas and plantain in her backyard. Photo by Esperanza Doronila on Unsplash.

I tapped gently at the door so that I would not wake her up. Old Grama Zulfah invited me in with a tiny voice. She plodded into the living room with the aid of her walking stick and sat in her favorite spot in the room.  

She saw what I carried and couldn't believe I understood her statement clearly yesterday. It happened that we discussed a local vegetable soup, and she mentioned how she missed it. 

“How I wished I could go out and get all the ingredients,” she had said.

“You can send your maid to get them for you," I replied.      

She did not reply;  I sensed either she didn’t have the money or she is not on good terms with her maid. 

So, I brought with me the ingredients for the vegetable soup.

Whenever I visited Old Grama Zulfah, my thoughts wandered back to my mum. Mum is now very weak to do household chores by herself. Her favorite, going out shopping is now a tale of the old. The last time we spoke on the phone, we discussed agriculture and she mentioned planting some veggies in her compound, that I should buy and send the seeds to her.

“You can always buy them at a shop near you,” I told her.

“I can't go out that far anymore, and I don't want to disturb my neighbor,” she said.

Her neighbor is a kind woman who doesn't hesitate to help her. The last time mum came down to my place ore than 100  miles away, she left her key with her neighbor to feed her turkeys every day.

***

On this blessed day, I met Grama  Zulfah snacking on her favorite delicacy, the sesame seed candy. She was manducating it slowly. The sesame seed candy is made from roasted sesame seed and honey, and one may also choose to spice it up with ginger.

Old Grama Zulfah looked older than her age due to her frequent illness, she always warns me to work, and find time to rest, and that I should always go for frequent medical check-ups.

She once narrated her youthhood experience. She said:

“I was very active during my youth. I traveled long distances to buy clothing materials at wholesale price and hawk them in our local market here. I walked a long distance to sell my goods. I don't have time for rest, I love my active lifestyle.”

Prior to her passing away, Grama Zulfah would spend days indoors, not because she loves it that way but because she has no choice. I made sure I check on her several times a week, with the gift of food items, spending a few hours with her, to see how I can help out, and perhaps, run some errands for her. When I was busy and couldn't go to check on her, I  would ask my son to visit her and perhaps keep her company and run some errands for her when the lady that sells some stuff at her doorstep didn't show up for the day. 

That visit with the vegetable soup ingredients, we went out to her backyard to catch a glimpse of nature and fresh air. Old Granny Zulfah was a hardworking lady. She planted some bananas and plantain in her backyard. There is a stream located at the back of her house, this made it easier for her bananas and plantain to grow well. She also planted bitter leaves, scent leaves and some other local veggies.

Though she couldn’t harvest it all by herself now, she didn’t mind going slowly, picking and weeding as much as she could. Whenever I checked and didn't see her in the living room, the next place to check was the little garden. She usually sat comfortably on a stool to remove the weeds.

***

Old age is associated with different illnesses that could be cured by simply giving people more attention and care. That care can come in the form of food, whether it’s picking up ingredients for a favorite recipe or helping tend a vegetable garden.

The folk who couldn't walk now but with the aid of walking sticks were once strong and healthy like you. Most of them spent their youthful age serving both you and I. Though it is the family responsibility to take care of their aged adults, society and our government can also help. It is true that they  live among us and contribute their own quotas to the economic development of our nations but the time spent with  their family  is immeasurable. 

Old age, like other stages of life, is a critical stage. The elderly need someone or group of  people that can understand their needs , wants and changes in behavioral patterns, which can include changes in appetite or a yearning for foods of their past. A good knowledge of this would help the caregiver and this will in turn ensure peaceful lifestyles and good health for them.

The aged like any  other person also craves for love, affection, companionship and financial independence, one needs to be open minded to thoroughly understand their conditions. They need companionship , most of them love to discuss the good old days , they are always in  need of someone to talk to, and this is the stage when most of the children are gone and the spouse dead. The children only check in once in a while. Phone calls may not  be equal to a visit but it is a better alternative , better still if you have a friend that lives closer to your parents, persuade them to check on your parents once in a while.

***

Pa Oladele looks so healthy at 80. I asked him his secret.

“My daughter, when I was vigorous and fresh, I didn't live a sedentary lifestyle, I didn't overwork myself, I worked and rested, I eat good and affordable meals, I don't toy with my health, I go for medical examination every month and exercise often,” he says with a smile. “I can teach you yoga.”

“Baba,” I say, as we fondly call him. “Can you mention some of the good foods you eat that make you look younger than your age?”

“A good question,” he replies. “We are what we eat, our foods can always serve as medications, so  I eat foods that have health benefits, I don't eat for the sake of getting my tummy filled up.           My favorite food is Jollof rice and chicken lap. Didn’t you see that I finished the one you brought for me the other day?” 

We went on to discuss how we each prefer our plantain, his fondness for fruit juice and the effort his wife puts forth to make amala, abula and gbegiri. I asked if he liked the sesame candy Grama Zulfah enjoyed, and he said he hadn’t had it. I promised to bring some for next time.     

“I like trying new food,” he says.

He looked away, and I followed his gaze. He was watching a butterfly that was sucking the nectar of a flower. Baba has a small garden beside his house that provides most of the vegetables he eats.

Baba likes discussing food and gardening. He often mentioned how he planted all the veggies in the garden. This, too, is a type of nourishment and care we can provide for our elderly.